In Evia's latest post she continues to foolishly compare actual racial discrimination with someone's individual dating preferences. I will do my best to shed some light on this. First I will qoute you what she said
I continue to get notes from black men arguing that they have the "right" to prefer lighter-whiter skin shades in women, but they do not want to accept that they are upholding the white racist construct that says that light/white skin people are superior, more attractive, more intelligent and more desirable to be around than darker skinned people. Why then do these same men get so furious when whites discriminate against them in hiring, police brutality, driving while black,--on the basis of their darker skin shades. It's all about skin shade. It's the SAME reason for that white person's discrimination.
I'll address the first part first. You notice that she never applies this logic to any other pairing other than Black Men/White Women. There are more White Man/Asian Women Couples than there are Black Men /White Woman couples and Asian Men/White Women couples combined. Are White Men guilty of creating a construct of Yellow supremacy? And unless if these same Black Men sexually crave White Men, then how does the Black Man/White Woman pairing uphold White Supremacy? It doesn't. Finally why doesn't Evia take the glass is half-full approach and view it the other way: White Women who date Black Men are rejecting the notion of White Supremacy. Of course this would be giving White Women credit for something good and her platform cannot possibly allow that.
The only real problem that Evia has with this pairing is that it doesn't favor Evia.
I know Black men who prefer Non-Black Women, Black men who prefer light-skinned Black women, Black Men who prefer Dark Skinned Women, and Black men who prefer men. Why is one set of these men entitled to their preferences and the others are not? What the Evias of the world don't get is that the biggest turnoff is not their looks, but it is the self-centered entitlement that states "like me or there must be something severely mentally wrong with you".
As for the second part, she compares police brutality to someone not wanting to date you on Saturday night. Is this woman serious? For those of you have not figured this out let me tell you the critical difference: When the police beats Leroy, there is a victim involved. When Leroy does not want to go out with Tamika, Tamika is not a victim, regardless of the reason that Leroy does not want to go out with her. Got it. Leroy has constitutional rights (to due process, to avoid cruel and unusual punishment, etc) When the police beat him up, they deprive him of those rights. Tamika has no moral, constitutional or legal rights to Leroy's affection. Fittingly we have laws on the books against the police beating Leroy up and none for Leroy not asking for Tamika's phone number.
As for hiring it is a little trickier because an employer that does not want to hire blacks could find a number of reasons not to and it is harder to prove discrimination. What happens when a employer does discriminate? The company loses because that employer is limiting the company's employee pool from the best of everybody to only one group (whites). The competent white workers lose because they have to work harder to compensate for the incompetent whites that were hired in place of competent blacks. The people who invest in the company loses because the incompetent whites are holding the company back and society loses because incompetent people are working while competent people are not. Hence we have laws against it.
On the other hand if Leroy is dating Molly while Tamika sits at home, nothing is lost except to the parties involved. If Tamika is "all that" then she will find somebody else and Leroy will miss out. If not, then she deserves to be at home alone. Leroy and Molly have each other and if that makes them happy, we live in a free society that allows us to pursue that happiness. Why does anyone have a problem with that?
I continue to get notes from black men arguing that they have the "right" to prefer lighter-whiter skin shades in women, but they do not want to accept that they are upholding the white racist construct that says that light/white skin people are superior, more attractive, more intelligent and more desirable to be around than darker skinned people. Why then do these same men get so furious when whites discriminate against them in hiring, police brutality, driving while black,--on the basis of their darker skin shades. It's all about skin shade. It's the SAME reason for that white person's discrimination.
I'll address the first part first. You notice that she never applies this logic to any other pairing other than Black Men/White Women. There are more White Man/Asian Women Couples than there are Black Men /White Woman couples and Asian Men/White Women couples combined. Are White Men guilty of creating a construct of Yellow supremacy? And unless if these same Black Men sexually crave White Men, then how does the Black Man/White Woman pairing uphold White Supremacy? It doesn't. Finally why doesn't Evia take the glass is half-full approach and view it the other way: White Women who date Black Men are rejecting the notion of White Supremacy. Of course this would be giving White Women credit for something good and her platform cannot possibly allow that.
The only real problem that Evia has with this pairing is that it doesn't favor Evia.
I know Black men who prefer Non-Black Women, Black men who prefer light-skinned Black women, Black Men who prefer Dark Skinned Women, and Black men who prefer men. Why is one set of these men entitled to their preferences and the others are not? What the Evias of the world don't get is that the biggest turnoff is not their looks, but it is the self-centered entitlement that states "like me or there must be something severely mentally wrong with you".
As for the second part, she compares police brutality to someone not wanting to date you on Saturday night. Is this woman serious? For those of you have not figured this out let me tell you the critical difference: When the police beats Leroy, there is a victim involved. When Leroy does not want to go out with Tamika, Tamika is not a victim, regardless of the reason that Leroy does not want to go out with her. Got it. Leroy has constitutional rights (to due process, to avoid cruel and unusual punishment, etc) When the police beat him up, they deprive him of those rights. Tamika has no moral, constitutional or legal rights to Leroy's affection. Fittingly we have laws on the books against the police beating Leroy up and none for Leroy not asking for Tamika's phone number.
As for hiring it is a little trickier because an employer that does not want to hire blacks could find a number of reasons not to and it is harder to prove discrimination. What happens when a employer does discriminate? The company loses because that employer is limiting the company's employee pool from the best of everybody to only one group (whites). The competent white workers lose because they have to work harder to compensate for the incompetent whites that were hired in place of competent blacks. The people who invest in the company loses because the incompetent whites are holding the company back and society loses because incompetent people are working while competent people are not. Hence we have laws against it.
On the other hand if Leroy is dating Molly while Tamika sits at home, nothing is lost except to the parties involved. If Tamika is "all that" then she will find somebody else and Leroy will miss out. If not, then she deserves to be at home alone. Leroy and Molly have each other and if that makes them happy, we live in a free society that allows us to pursue that happiness. Why does anyone have a problem with that?
The difference between true racial discrimination and personal preference in a free society is that the former attempts to and has the ability to forcibly interfere with the latter. The police or the people hiring have power over Leroy. Tamika has free will where it pertains to Leroy (the choice to obsess over him or not is hers).
And why does Evia care anyway? Isn't she supposed to be a BW-IR blogger. She contradicts herself in her own post. She writes:
Let me make myself clear AGAIN-LOL! I'm not interested in who AA males date or marry because...
then a few paragraphs later she is writing:
BE HONEST: HOW MANY AA MEN DO YOU KNOW WHO'D LOVE TO DATE A WOMAN WITH THIS WOMAN'S COMPLEXION? Hmmmm. I can hear the silence. LOL!
I thought she didn't care. In fact I could have qouted the entire second portion which was a study done on colorism of college students at some midwestern college. Why would she or her followers truly care what Black men do and who they prefer?
Click here for a very insightful explanation.
18 comments:
As usual an awesome and completely logical post.
And, though it has been said before, why is it discrimination only when black men prefer lighter women and not when black women prefer lighter men? Doesn't she get that if she demands the right for black women to be with white men, then she has to let go of the demand that black men only pine after dark skinned black women. Or she thinks black men should jut sit around and cry because women like her "don't want" them, when they can find other women who will appreciate them.
I just don't get why anyone cares who anyone else dates. As long as my partner is not dating someone else behind my back, I don't give a shit who anyone else is with. Whatever, makes him /her happy is fine by me.
Hi Truth,
you know, its very clear to me that Evia, like her 'sistas', has an inferiority complex as re. her complexion. She cares a great deal what Black men get up to as she pewrcieves them as having rejected her!
Moreover, as I state in my post over at Rocky's blog that it matters not one iota what white men do (i.e. they can thus never be wrong) because they are not 'Mr Right'. They get a 'pass' because they are not the primary concern of the likes of Evia and Sara/"Harry"....Black men are!!
Menelik Charles
London England
And, though it has been said before, why is it discrimination only when black men prefer lighter women and not when black women prefer lighter men?
Same old explanation. Young Black Boys create an inferiority complex in young Black girls so they grow into Black women who seek out lighter mates because they want to spare any possible daughters of what they went through.
Of course this begs the questions"
1) Why are young black girls treated as victims and young black boys as not, when they both have fallen prey to the same colorism.
2) Why are grown women not responsible for their own behavior instead of blaming something that happened in their childhood?
Bro Truth,
fact is, it is Black mothers who are the primary socialisers of their daughters. I wonder what they say around the issues of colour and hair texture?
I think we must be told lol.
I mean, to seriously think that Black boys indoctrinate them into feeling inferior is simply beyond stupid!
Menelik Charles
London England
Exactly Menelik.
Not only mothers but other females, friends and peers. I've seen dark skin girls get into it with light skin girls while the boys were in the background.
Bro Truth,
the IR crew know full well that it was mainly the significant females around them who made them question the value of their complexions and hair textures! Remember when we were kids? remember the the fuss they made whenever a light-skinned member of the wider family visits?
Come on guys, we know because we've seen it!
Blaming Black men is a tradition throughout the West and these women are conscious of this on some level. So rather than challenge the colorism of their adult female role-models they cite Black boys as the source of their plight!
How utterly dishonest and awful these women are! The very names of these individuals are becoming synonomous with evil...and what stereotype of Black women does that reinforce, I wonder?
Would you guys consider these women as dates, mates or mothers to your sons and daughters?
Be honest, guys!!!!
Menelik Charles
London England
Menelik Charles
London England
I agree with Una. Great post!
the IR crew know full well that it was mainly the significant females around them who made them question the value of their complexions and hair textures! Remember when we were kids? remember the the fuss they made whenever a light-skinned member of the wider family visits?
I don't know a black family this has not been the case. Sit in any beauty salon and you will hear it. Even now black beauticians look at natural hair and say no way honey Im not touching it. In 2009 you can hardly find a salon to do natural hair. My 78 yr old grandmother still calls various grand and great grandchildren ugly based how dark they are. My aunts and uncles resort to those name callings when arguing. My own mother, as much as she wanted pretty brown grandbabies, would dismiss any I liked if he was too "black". I have to think of the children you know.
I fully believe it is black women who perpetuate this color war. We are the ones who shape our youth. Mothers determine how long we can stay outside in the summer (lest we become too dark). Mothers make comments/complain when brushing nappy heads and straightening/hot comb/flat iron hair so it can be "pretty" and easier to deal with. Little things that have been with us for so long that we don't even recognize its happening. We have learned what is beautiful and acceptable before puberty hits and we have learned from momma.
Wow,
Mrs Rony, what on earth, as a Black women, has compelled you to tell the truth?
It just seems like honesty and some Black women aint friends no more lol
Menelik Charles
London
Menelik, it is a sad case of affairs that is for sure but it is what is is. It shouldn't be about blame. We all share equal responsibility for our community. BM have to own up to theirs and BW have to own up to ours. Irregardless of who dangled the apple or why the fact is we have bitten it and we all suffer the consequences. We dont get to separate ourselves from each other...no matter how much we may want to.
yes people have their preferences and that is what it is, I have no problem with that. So why do you have a problem with women who prefer white or non-black men it is our business. I for one wish Evia and Sara would stop talking about black men and just focus on black women, being the the best and find the best man, who ever he maybe!
So why do you have a problem with women who prefer white or non-black men it is our business.
I don't have a problem with it.
So why do you have a problem with women who prefer white or non-black men it is our business.
I don't understand why folks keep asserting this when no one has stated nor implied having such a problem. This is simply a strawman.
Great post Truth.
I for one wish Evia and Sara would stop talking about black men and just focus on black women, being the the best and find the best man, who ever he maybe!
Me too!! The fact that they dont and yet pretend that they do makes it impossible for me understand or want to support their cause.
No one should underestimate the impact that colorism has had on the self-esteem and self-worth of darker-skinned black women and men. It has been well-documented that dark skinned people face discrimination within the black community as well as from the mainstream community. Black women have been the ones to pass these traditions on to the futire generations of black people. While it is true that black men are color-struck (especially southern black men), who do you think taught these black men as children that light skin was prettier, better, smarter? Their black mothers. Also, the media images perpetuate white supremacy. And we continue to let our children watch television idlely, rather than teaching them to question everything they see. I know black men and women who are color struck, especially here in the South. Black women who want their children to have "good hair." Or "pretty hair." I am a light-skinned Black woman, so I am not the hater. I wrote a post on my blog several months ago entitled "Confessions of a Light-Skinned Sista." I welcome everyone to read it. Just click on the title on the sidebar under Favorite Posts. I am dedicated to battling the sickness of hueism wherever it arises.
Peace,
Tasha
Just click on the title on the sidebar under Favorite Posts.
Or cut and paste this into your browser
http://www.thesowingcircle.net/2008/06/confessions-of-light-skinned-sista.html
Sista tasha,
I do hate it when Black women IR bloggers attack light-skinned sistas. My personal preference is for dark sistas but envy is the enemy of reason and I can't stand unreasonable people who lie merely to score points.
Obviously Black women dominate the home for various reasons so it stands to REASON that our children are picking up an awful lot of lessons at momma's knee!
Anyway, welcome on board, sista friend!
menelik charles
London
Truth
I found the whole post insightful and amusing.
They put pictures up of biracial black women and their mother is white. So the white mother is superior because she produced an attractive black girl.
This is simply amazing to me. Yea they do attack light skin black women and white women.
I can understand they have to attack white women. They have distance themselves from black men and the stereotypes of being a "ghetto black girl".
So they will say yea black men always want light skin women. When a white man says he wants a model of any skin color they don't say nothing!
Evia tells them take your fat ass to the gym and make that white man happy!
Evia's whole doctrine is about a sellout black girl middle class movement. They don't give a shit about poor black women.
@ Una Persona
"why is it discrimination only when black men prefer lighter women and not when black women prefer lighter men?"
That's a great point ! I ask that all the time but the same women who desire lighter men never have an answer.
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