Just a question: If black men are bad men because they are "color-struck" as Sara, Evia, and the Something Screwed Crew continue to insist, then are white men just as bad for being "fat-struck"?
If the Something Screwed crew is going to insist with derision on the old stereotype that black men only date fat white women that white men don't want, then doesn't this reflect negatively on white men, who are rejecting their own women the same way that these black women accuse black men of? Doesn't the white man fail to protect his woman when he forces her to exercise so much that her bones turn brittle in old age (osteoporosis)? Doesn't he not protect her when he makes her feel like eating so little that she even feels the need to vomit what little food she does ingest (Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa)? Doesn't that make the black men who date these women in spite of their girth more valiant due to their ability to look past her body and see the real person? Yet another double-standard that the Something Screwed crew think that no one sees.
In actuality, the black man preferring fat white women thing is just something that some bitter white men created and is continuously restated by angry black women who don't see that this makes themselves look bad. Think about it. When a white man says it he is just trying to build himself up which makes sense, even though it is based somewhat on sour grapes. When a black women says it, she is practically saying "I suck so bad that men in my race would rather be with a fat women of another race than with me." So when these angry black women mock the supposed black man with his fat girl, she is really point out her own inadequacies to the world and she doesn't even realize it.
In actuality men that can only get fat white woman also can only get fat black women and vice versa. Men that date hot white women could get hot black women and vice versa. Look at the Canadian model that is banging Halle Berry. He could easily get a hot white woman. Look at Taye Diggs or Cuba Gooding Jr. Men of their caliber have their pick among women.
At the end of the day, the dating market is an efficient market in a free country. Since it takes two to tango, both people are getting what they asked for when they sign up to be with someone. Go with who makes you happy and leave everyone else alone.
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8 comments:
Truth, they have a typical response to this and that response is that favoring light skinned women is same race racial discrimination as opposed to preference. Of course, this is flawed.
While race has a biological basis, it is a social construct. Race is merely a human categorization based on common traits and common ancestry. For whatever reason, the category of "black" has been established based on very loose criteria. Quite simply, being a descendant of indigenous people of Sub-Saharan or East Africa to any degree categorizes you as black. This leaves for various 'types' to be included in the racial category of "black". Thus, a light skinned black woman is just as much a black woman as a darks skinned black woman based on the widespread acceptable social construct.
The SSC, who are probably overwhelmingly composed of dark skinned women, try to avoid the idea of light skinned sistas being viewed as black. By excluding them from the category, they can then accuse black men of same race racial discrimination. They don't want to accept that they have a characteristic and some men don't prefer. They attempt to narrow the criteria to a point that only includes them as opposed to the age old categorization that includes red complected keen featured Ethiopians, pitch black Sudanese, reddish complected South Africans, light skinned Khoisan, keen featured Massai, broad featured West Africans, Louisiana Creoles, etc. Africa is a bastion for diversity and one cannot claim real blackness to include only dark skin and broad features.
So in reality, preferring a light skinned woman or man is simply preference and not same race racial discrimination. If it is same-race racial discrimination, then wouldn't folks like C1 and other white men who claim to prefer dark skinned black women or black women in general be no different? Wouldn't they be deserving of the same ire that the SSC have toward black men for "discriminating against the women of their race"? Seems that the double standards are in full force.
Oh, and light skinned black women can be considered black by the SSC as long as they date white men. Dating a white man would make Mariah Carey a full blooded African Queen in their eyes.
Amen
I pointed out on Harry/ Sara / whoever's blog that the white female stereotype that is held up isn't actually beneficial to the majority of white women because it puts extreme pressure on them to be too thin, to fit to a supposedly ideal body shape that they cannot happily attain (happily meaning eating normal healthy meals and not starving to death). I pointed out studies that have shown that because these skeletal models of women are mostly white, black girls don't associate with them as much and have a healthier body image than little white girls who are never happy with the way they look. I also think that black girls healthier self image is due to the black community as a whole (including black men) being more accepting of more normal body shapes for women and even appreciating them. Other kinds of non-white men are also more appreciative of this - Arab men, for example, like fuller figured women. And you will see very large Arab women who still look smoking hot because they still admire themselves and take the time to dress up nice. Most white women, once they put on some weight that they can't seem to shed no matter how hard they try, just give it all up because white society has told them there is no way they can be considered attractive if they are "fat."
Very good post.
And by the way, everyone knows white men control the media
I forgot to add that Harry did not allow that post of mine to be published
Rocky, I noticed the same thing about Africa when living there; even within a single country (Kenya) there was a huge difference in the appearance of various tribes. Towards Lake Victoria in the west you have much "blacker" tribes with broader facial features - like the one that President Obama's father hails from (Ja-Luo I think). Such tribes usually have sturdier stronger looking builds as well. then you have the Maasai, who looked another way with much sharper features and lighter skin, and then you had the Boran to the north who look like Somalis with soft features (oval faces) and some of them have long silky hair, and so on. Natives of Kenya can tell from looking at people what tribe they belong to.
Anon, You missed my main point, so I will try to explain it again. My main point was that each individual makes decisions based on their own personal preferences. Those decisions have nothing to do with whether the other person has control over the situation or not.
In my own life:
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too black
- I have met women who did not want me because I was not black enough
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too geeky
- I have met women who did not want me because I was not smart enough
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too fat
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too skinny
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too poor
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too short
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too ugly
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too lazy
- I have met women who did not want me because I was too active
- I have met women who did not want me because _________________
The common denominator is
I have met women who did not want me...
When I encounter these women you know what I do? I leave them be. Does it suck to be rejected by someone else? Sure it does, but I move on quickly. I don't sit around and psychoanalyze their reasons for not wanting to be with me. I don't try to "expose" them or make them feel guilty or ashamed. Nor do I spend time calling them all sorts of nasty names or go on and on disparaging them. I go find someone else who does want to be with me. I do well for myself doing so.
No one can control being short (I am under 5'10") anymore than they can control being black. None of that matters (nor should it matter) to the women rejecting me. They have their preferences and they are entitled to them. Life is not fair nor perfect. Just because you are born a certain way does not entitle you to romance.
anon: There is a big difference. Rejecting someone because they are fat is not the same as rejecting someone because they happen to be the same race as you. You are born black or white or whatever race you happen to be. You cannot change it, nor should you because it is a natural thing. By contrast, people are not born fat. People become fat through unhealthy lifestyles. Fatness is a an unhealthy condition, and it is an indication of the way one chooses to live one's life
I already told you how I choose to handle rejection. If there is a big difference, remember that it is a big difference to you because you allow it to be one. It is your preference to allow one form of rejection to upset you more than another. Don't blame anyone else for your outlook on the world.
Secondly, not all fat people are fat because they pound out too many cheeseburgers. Some people have poorer metabolisms than other people. They are fat and it is out of their control. And guess what? They don't get any more or less sympathy from people who prefer skinny people than do people who eat too much.
anon: The mere fact that you compare a woman's "blackness" to an illness such as obesity only exposes your own sickness.
I never compared "blackness" to "obesity", my comparision were about people who make choices on one form of visual stimuli over another.
I never mentioned obesity which by the way is a precursor to illness and not an illness in itself. Obese people are generally unhealthy. Overweight (as opposed to obese) are not in as much danger healthwise, but still are not viewed as attractive in general.
At the end of the day, I don't want you = I don't want you, no matter the reason. I say that your focus on one form of rejection over another exposes your emotional immaturity, your insecurity, your lack of self-esteem, and your false sense of entitlement.
People become fat through unhealthy lifestyles. Fatness is a an unhealthy condition, and it is an indication of the way one chooses to live one's life
Actually that is not always the case and especially not in today's society where anything apart from skeletal is depicted as fact. Women come in a lot of different shapes and sizes. Some of them are bigger than others without being fat, but those people are labeled as fat. I know a couple of girls from highschool who were quite athletic, played a lot of sports but they had big bodies.
Some people also have slower metabolisms. Some skinny people have very unhealthy lifestyles, they dont exercise and they eat what they want and just don't gain weight. A lot of skinny people smoke.
I don't know why sickeningly thin is portrayed as virtuous in white culture and anything bigger (even normal and slightly plump) are portrayed as signs of laziness, unhealthiness, slovenliness and lack of discipline.
Truth B. Told, I think you missed my point. I don't dissagree with you because I can't handle rejection. You seem to think that I am under the impression that you are rejecting me. Apparently you think I am a black woman. Well you assumed wrong because I am a white man.
And like I said, I don't have a problem with rejection, the reason for my post is because I stand by my decision to reject fat women.
I am a thin, fit man and there is no reason that I shouldn't be able to expect the same in a woman, regardless of race. Why should I bother staying in shape if a woman is just going to let herself go?
And by the way, the vast majority of obesity is due to lifestyle. How else do you explain that people of all races in other countries stay so thin? The difference between Americans and non-Americans is not genetics, it is diet and lifestyle. If obesity were commonly caused by genetics as you claim, then obesity would be rampant in the whole industrialized world, not just the U.S.
Considering someone unattractive because they let their appearance go is normal. Considering someone unattractive because they share the same skin color than you is not.
"I already told you how I choose to handle rejection. If there is a big difference, remember that it is a big difference to you because you allow it to be one. It is your preference to allow one form of rejection to upset you more than another. Don't blame anyone else for your outlook on the world."
Anon, thanks for replying
anon said: Truth B. Told, I think you missed my point. I don't dissagree with you because I can't handle rejection. You seem to think that I am under the impression that you are rejecting me. Apparently you think I am a black woman. Well you assumed wrong because I am a white man.
I reread my own post and I don't see where I make any assumptions about your demographics. All I did was restate my original argument which is I don't want you = I don't want you, no matter how you get there.
And for the record, I personally do not reject women on the basis of color. But if a man chooses to do so, then he is no better or worse than a man who rejects a woman for any other superficial reason.
And like I said, I don't have a problem with rejection, the reason for my post is because I stand by my decision to reject fat women.
And you have a right to reject fat women, or any other group you choose to reject for whatever physically visual reason you choose. It is still superficial. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being superficial if it leads you to finding someone that make you happy.
I am a thin, fit man and there is no reason that I shouldn't be able to expect the same in a woman, regardless of race. Why should I bother staying in shape if a woman is just going to let herself go?
Well hopefully you stay in shape because it is the best thing for you and your health. And like I said it is okay to have expectations, but it is hypocritical to begrudge others when they have their own. Mind you, I am only using the fat/skinny as one example of many other types of superficial items that people assess when looking at others sexually.
And by the way, the vast majority of obesity is due to lifestyle. How else do you explain that people of all races in other countries stay so thin? The difference between Americans and non-Americans is not genetics, it is diet and lifestyle. If obesity were commonly caused by genetics as you claim, then obesity would be rampant in the whole industrialized world, not just the U.S.
Again, I never claimed it was purely genetic, but I did say that for some people their weight is out of their control. Everybody has different metabolisms, though overeating and underexercising is not good for anybody.
My point on this is guys like you who are looking for a slim woman don't care whether someone eats too much or has a bad thyroid, you are just gonna move on to the slim women. Rejection will suck for both types of fat women.
Considering someone unattractive because they let their appearance go is normal. Considering someone unattractive because they share the same skin color than you is not.
One may be more "normal" than the other, but both are equally shallow, which is what my essay was about.
Out of curiosity, if I am wrong what is your solution? If people think it is wrong for Tyrone to only date Asian women, is he supposed to stop and go with other groups that he is not attracted to? Likewise if you are not allowed to be shallow and reject fat woman what are you supposed to do? Suck it up and date fat women to please other people? How does that serve you or Tyrone?
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